I read an interesting article last week following the death of a prominent American Psychologist Judith Wallerstein. http://www.nytimes.com/2012/06/21/health/research/judith-s-wallerstein-psychologist-who-analyzed-divorce-dies-at-90.html?_r=1
Her report on how young children of a divorce often experienced the emotional impact well into their adulthood caused a national debate in the 1970′s. Ms Wallerstein came under a degree of criticism for making parents feel even more guilty and distressed for pursing a divorce when there were children involved. The reaction to her report came as no great surprise to me and underlined why Family Law does require more than just a knowledge of the law.
I often talk to my clients about how their children are dealing with the relationship breakdown. As Judith Wallerstein’s report highlights, children may benefit from “counselling” during or after a split. That doesn’t always mean a counsellor but may just mean someone other than mum or dad who they can talk to help them deal with what’s going on. This could be friends, family or teachers although it’s important to remember that these individuals are unlikely to be as well trained as a professional Counsellor. Some parents would never consider using a Counsellor often because the child, in their view, seems to be coping well with everything or perhaps more uncomfortably a guilty feeling that a referral to a Counsellor is somehow an admission that they are to blame for what is happening to their child. Divorce is a fact of life these days. Blaming either yourself or your spouse tends to be unhelpful when dealing with any children issues. Useful guidance I give my clients is always consider what is in the best interests of your child and don’t let guilt, anger or other emotions influence that decision.
There’s further practical advice on the Resolution website (www.resolution.org.uk/advice_for_parents). Here you can find key information to help you make a positive difference for your children, as well as details of Resolution’s parent workshops which aim to help parents manage the impact of their divorce or separation for their children.
If your looking for a Counsellor then please contact me awhistler@b-legal.co.uk and I will be able to put you in touch with a local Counsellor or alternatively find a
Counsellor on the British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy website http://www.bacp.co.uk/
